Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Threat level

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats, and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.


The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile, and as usual, are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies "just in case".

Canada doesn't have any alert levels.

New Zealand has raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA". Due to continuing defence cutbacks, New Zealand has only one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Panoramio slideshow

Monkey me

Monkey me

Some of the things that keep me out of trouble

I am involved in numerous environmental groups throughout the Tri-Cities area, I manage the Hoy Scott Watershed Societies,(HSWS) salmon hatchery, and keep the volunteers up to date with a Blog
I am also involved with the Maple Creek Streamkeepers,(MCS).

I have an interest in the history of British Columbia, especially the preservation of the Riverview Hospital site.
Which includes the rebuilding of Finnies Garden with a dedicated group of volunteers.
I love the history and ecology of Minnekhada Park, and have done extensive research on its previous owners.
The elusive, though extensive history of the Pitt River which includes Pitt Lake and the Upper Pitt River is slowly being gathered together, for a future book. Much of this area now includes the Pinecone-Burke Provincial Park, which another group that I am involved in the Burke Mountain Naturalists,( BMN ) worked hard to create for future generations to enjoy.
I like to hike around the area taking pictures, here is a small portion of them in Panoramio and also Flickr

Patricia Gaspar, is a dear, artist friend who has a Blog with a small portion of her work.
. Some of the history of the Coquitlam area, I share in my Coquitlamites Blog.

And I really like the music of Eva Marie Cassidy

Still laughing

Still laughing

Crystal Falls

South Slope / Sterling Loop trails


View South Slope-Sterling Loop trails in a larger map

Knots and Splices

Create some Knots and then, make your own Laneyards

Some free books from Internet Archive

Knots, ties and splices; a handbook for seafarers, travellers, and all who use cordage; with historical, heraldic, and practical notes (1884)

The use of ropes and tackle (1922)

A huge guide for sailors of old. The kedge-anchor, or, Young sailors' assistant :

appertaining to the practical evolutions of modern seamanship, rigging, knotting, splicing, blocks, purchases, running-rigging, and other miscellaneous matters, applicable to ships-of-war and others ; illustrated with seventy engravings ; also tables of rigging, spars, sails, blocks, canvas ... &c relative to every class of vessels (1883)

Macrame design, with instructions .. (1912)

Rope and twine information (1917)

American wire rope catalogue and hand book (c1913)

Full instructions in the art of crepe paper rope basket weaving (1922)

Modern flax, hemp and jute spinning and twisting ; a practical handbook for the use of flax, hemp, and jute spinners, thread, twine, and rope makers (1907)